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On Being A Dick And Getting Over It

By August 10, 2016February 1st, 2019No Comments
J. Kelly Hoey - Build Your Dream Network

As I was sitting on a screen porch overlooking a tranquil lake on a recent weekend morning, I was also quietly seething. Before hitting send on a hasty email, I passed my laptop over to a close, male friend to read the email source of my discontent. His reaction was quick and accurate:

“Damn, you gals have it tough”.

The email was passive, aggressive (in the mind of the recipient, me), and I would suggest it was sent as honest, transparent dialog (in the mind of the sender). It was the type of email that, if it was part of an exchange between two guys, could have been easily dispensed with a “You’re being a dick.” Succinct. Efficient. No hard feelings. Dispute resolved and onward to problem-solving or having a beer or whatever…

I wish I could have sent a “you’re being a dick” email.

Rather, I had to ponder an “appropriate” response lest I become a thoughtless, inconsiderate bitch or shrill or maybe just simply “difficult” because of my response.

Why isn’t there an easy way for a woman to react without the real or imagined spiral into bitchdom?

Instead, I pondered. Crafted a draft response, re-wrote it, edited it, had my friend review it…then I hit send only once I had his “good”. And I still had to write about it in this week’s newsletter before I was able to let it go, completely.

Yes, sometimes we make it too damn tough.

via Sam Bevington

J. Kelly Hoey

Networking Expert + Career Transformation Coach + Author + Speaker, Kelly Hoey looks at "networking" through a new, modern, fresh lens, offering you (who are pursuing and perhaps struggling with your big ambitions), advice on how to connect for success in a hyper-connected world that is woefully short in its attention span. Her network-building advice is relatable, instilling confidence with actionable insights and practical information.