Chapter 2 of The Social Billionaire asks the reader to become more truthful, not transactional — about their relationships, their habits, and the assumptions shaping their ambitions.
What’s the Real Purpose Behind Chapter 2?
Let’s start here, with the purpose of this early chapter in The Social Billionaire.
Why?
Because this exercise-oriented part of the workbook can be misinterpreted.
It is not simply a perfunctory audit of who is in your network. It is not a checklist, follower-count, who-have -I-got-that-I-need-to-help-me exercise.
Rather, it is an invitation to look more honestly at how your network came to be — the stories and emotions, joys and horrors that are behind all those connections – and how your habits, assumptions, and interactions (yes, you!) may have shaped, and still could be shaping, what that network will actually do for you.
And yes, that kind of personal reflection can be uncomfortable at times. And it’s the big mirror we all need to hold up in front of ourselves.
Have I interacted in a way that surrounds me with community and connects me meaningfully with others?
And we all have blindspots. Or resist looking inwardly when thinking about an outward facing activity, like networking. This is why gathering in a group – for starters, for no BS accountability – is a smart idea.
Gathering a group to discuss Chapter 2 will unlock greater network clarity – through the power of shared experiences and stories – than simply completing the exercise as a to-do list item, and what could be better network building than forging stronger bonds with a small group of like-minded peers, a group buoyed and connected by a reflective conversation grounded in honesty, gratitude, and agency?
This is an opportunity for confidence building, discovery, and learning alongside like-minded women, which is very much the essence of The Social Billionaire.
Download Chapter 2 of The Social Billionaire (for free)
Who Should You Invite to the Table?
Ideal size for a deeper conversation: 4–6 people.
In the spirit of Priya Parker, the bestselling author of The Art of Gathering, my strong recommendation is to be specific, not broad, when deciding who to gather around the table to discuss Chapter 2 of The Social Billionaire.
In other words, avoid inviting “just any old person interested in chatting about networking.”
Here’s who I suggest would be the best fit for an authentic conversation:
- women willing to honestly reflect, not just majestically opine
- women able to speak directly from personal experience, relevant personal experience
- women curious enough to examine their own networking habits and patterns, that is, they are not simply there to diagnose the networking problems or shortcomings of others
- women who have a reasonable threshold for nuance, discomfort, and brutal honesty
Set the Tone from the Start
Because the conversation is far more than a “who is in your network or how adequate you believe your network is” conversation, your initial communication to invitees should do more than announce, “join me for a discussion of Chapter 2.”
It should signal that this is a conversation about relationships, choices, and patterns (both short and long-term, as networking actions in the near term can have longer trajectories than your wildest career dreams).
It should be clear that each person in attendance should anticipate reflecting on how their network came to look the way it does — from the parts of their network they tend to or ignore or by-pass, to their own networking behavior(s), as well as how their choices and habits may be shaping the support they do — or do not — receive from their network.
Exert What Priya Parker Calls “Generous Authority”
Parker uses the phrase “generous authority” to describe the host’s responsibility to actively shape a gathering in service of its purpose.
In other words, don’t leave it to chance. The host is not there to dominate or gloss over the gathering, but is there to nurture and protect it — by creating the conditions for authenticity, connection, and meaningful participation.
Your aim as host is to make the room feel safe enough for honesty, but structured enough to surface clearer individual and shared insights.
To keep the conversation from becoming shapeless, exert your host authority by:
- protecting the purpose of the gathering
- equalizing airtime for everyone at the table
- interrupting drift and curbing one-upmanship
- keeping the conversation from turning into advice-giving or complaint spirals
Apply Priya Parker’s Pop-up Rules
Every gathering benefits from a temporary “social contract” that supports the purpose of the specific conversation. These are what Parker refers to as “pop-up rules.”
Stated clearly at the start, these rules help people step out of their usual conversational scripts and into a more thoughtful, respectful, and candid exchange.
These rules should be shared with those gathered before you get started:
- Rule 1: Speak from your own experience.
Less “women always…” More “I’ve noticed that I…” - Rule 2: Curiosity over certainty.
The aim is to notice patterns, not prove points. - Rule 3: No fixing.
Do not rush to solve someone’s challenge or issue before understanding it. - Rule 4: Respect confidentiality.
Vegas baby! Shared learnings can travel; attributions and specifics should not. - Rule 5: Share the air.
No one gets to turn the gathering into a keynote or soapbox. Not even the host. - Rule 5: No comparison.
The table has come together to talk out the issues, and to help each other. Comparison is hardly ever helpful.
How to Open the Conversation
A formal round of introductions – as we all know – can quickly pull people into the dreaded title, status, résumé, and blah blah blah ego-centric identity. And that is exactly the energy you do not want if you’re trying to equalize the room.
So here’s a suggested opening sequence, after you have welcomed everyone to the table:
- state the purpose of the gathering in one or two sentences
- lay out the pop-up rules (above)
- ask the opening reflection question (see below), and
- ask people to lightly introduce themselves within their answer to the reflection question
Opening reflection question: Tell us about one relationship that changed your path — but did not look important when it began.
Shape The Discussion With These Questions
Start with assumption that the attendees have only read Chapter 2 of The Social Billionaire, and that they are not be familiar with all the research behind the network audit exercise (or the broader lessons of the book).
Based on that likely scenario (not having read the book, in full) these five questions are designed to unlock the deeper networking insights you’re seeking from the gathering.
- Question 1
When you looked at your network, what surprised you about how it got built — not just who is in it? - Question 2
Where in your network are you getting comfort, and where are you getting truth, challenge, information, or advocacy? - Question 3
What patterns of your own have shaped your network most — staying in familiar circles, failing to follow up, being unclear about what you need, over-relying on the same people, or treating networking as something you do only when there is a problem to solve? - Question 4
When a network has felt unresponsive, what part of that reflects the network itself — and what part might reflect your clarity, consistency, follow-through, or the way you’ve been showing up? - Question 5
What did your past networks reveal — forgotten people, old communities, abandoned rooms, previous versions of yourself — that may still hold value now?
Bonus question, if needed: Where do you act as though networking is a “special” or “when I need something” event, rather than as an everyday practice of human interaction?
How to Steer the Conversation Back IF it Drifts
War stories and personal experiences are useful (and may arise despite the pop-up rules and your best hosting efforts), so to keep the conversation generous and on track, here are some helpful reset lines to have on hand:
- “Let’s bring this back to the question.”
- “What does that reveal about the network itself?”
- “Where do you see your own pattern in that story?”
- “What are you noticing, rather than prescribing?”
- “How about we stay with reflection before diving into solutions.”
- “That’s a great example. What does it tell us about trust, visibility, or follow-through?”
If someone – in spite of everything you’ve done to set the tone – dominates, regain your command of the room with:
- “I want to pause there and hear from someone who has not spoken yet.”
- “Let’s widen the circle.”
- “I’m going to stop us there so we can bring in another perspective.”
If the conversation devolves into blame (which a conversation on networking can), then I suggest you reset with:
- “We can acknowledge the problem, and still ask what is within our agency.”
Wrap up Reflectively
The whole point of the Chapter 2 conversation is to leave seeing one’s network more clearly, and to be more prepared and confident moving forward. It is not to leave feeling demoralized, or drowning in networking to-do’s. To end on a strong note, a suggested closing question for the group would be:
What is one thing you are seeing more clearly now about your network — or about yourself within it?
or
What is one assumption about networking you are leaving behind tonight?
🚀 Order The Social Billionaire: A Networking Roadmap for Women Seeking to Flourish and Achieve More on Amazon or Barnes & Noble or Bookshop.org (or place a customized or bulk order on IngramSpark). For ebooks you can also find The Social Billionaire on Smashwords, Apple Books, Thalia, Kobo, Fable, Vivlio, and Hoopla.
🗝️ If you’re planning events designed to boost women’s professional connections, let’s connect, as I’d love the insights, strategies and tools from The Social Billionaire to be part of your conversation.
